Anger Managment
by doubledude
Summary: The smash brothers go to anger managment class. COMPLETED.
1. The first lesson

**Doubledude:Hi, this is a new story, I know I've still got that other story but I'll still finish it, anyway the smashers will act differently for this story, the reason, I thought it would be funny, nowon to the fic.**

**Dr.Mario:Now I believe you all know why you're here, you have anger problems.**

**Bowser:No friggin shit Sherlock.**

**Dr.Mario:I'm disappointed that you all couldn't come here but let's just start, in this exercise you will pretend to be the person that annoys you the most, Mario let's start with you.**

**Mario: I'm Luigi, I always have a cry when I can't go on adventures and always complain when my half-rate inventions don't work.**

**Luigi:I'm-a-Mario, I'm to fat to go on a diet because I'm to friggin lazy to go on a diet, the rest of the agenda on my day as a communist, I rescue a stupid floozy from the mushroom kingdom.**

**Falco:I'll go next, I'm Yoshi, I eat and eat and eat and eat and keep getting fatter but I don't mind because I'm to primitive to wear clothes so I just walk everywhere in the nude.**

**Yoshi: I'm Falco, a psychopathic looser who doesn't even wash HIS DRAWERS, YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I KNOW.**

**Bowser:Ooh ooh, me next, I'm Mewtwo, a stupid looser with a mental problem, I have plans for evil but I'm gonna abandon it when I fall in love with some prostitute.**

**Mewtwo:I'm Turtle Butt, I try the same repetitive, suckish plan every single fuckin time, what's kidnapping som floozy going to do anyway?**

**Peach:I'm Samus, I always have to sulk about my stupid race getting killed and always shrugging off people who are trying to be nice to me just because I'm a stupid gay.**

**Samus: I'm Peach, the stupid floozy of the kingdom of rotten fungus, every minute I don't spend being kidnapped by a stupid moron I flirt with every guy on the planet that isn't one of my rescuers or the stupid idiots that capture me every single friggin minute of the day.**

**Dr. Mario: Well I think we may have reached a breakthrough, now you may know how people you don't like feel, well I hope the others can make it next time.**


	2. The second exercise

Responses

Xiao-Darkloud-Glad you liked it.

Joeb-All right, no more bold.

Just—me-Thanks for thinking it's funny.

Knuckles Spyro Fox Link Zidane Sora-Yeah they kind of do need it.

Lacto3.1415-Good to see you liked it.

Eternal Smasher-No that wasn't the last chapter.

The Critter-Yeah I liked it that part the best too.

Homicidal Snowbunnies-I'll make the chapters longer.

Shadow Zell-Well, I did get the idea for this from an episode of family guy.

Loke Groundrunner-Thanks

Doubledude-To the fic.

Doubledude crashes into the wall.

Doubledude:I should move that.

Chapter 2

Dr.Mario:Now for some more exercises.

Mario: EXERCISE! NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT EXERCISE!

Mario jumps out the window.

Dr.Mario:Not that kind of exercise, I mean't anger exercises.

Mario jumps back in the window.

Dr.Mario:Now I want you to unleash your anger on the person who annoys you the most.

Yoshi:Way ahead of you.

Yoshi has the barrel of a machine gun at Falco's neck.

Falco:Help me!

Dr.Mario:You can't kill them.

Falco:YES!

Yoshi:No fair.

Dr.Mario:Begin now.

As soon as he said that Yoshi kicks Falco in the nuts, Samus is punching Peach and Luigi is repediatley jumping on Mario's fat belly, as for Bowser, Mewtwo is using terrible forms of torture.

Bowser is tied to a chair right in front of a tv showing the teletubbies and thanks to Mewtwo using his psychic powers he can't move.

Teletubbies:Ehoh!

Bowser:MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP! THE HORROR THE HORROR!

Dr.Mario's Assistant:Uh sir, you said to unleash your anger on the one who annoys you the most right?

Dr.Mario:Correct. Why?

The assistant then gets a club and starts smashing Dr.Mario over the head with it, then Dr.Mario gets the machine gun Yoshi had before and shoots the assistant.

Dr.Mario:That'll teach you not to mess with the doctor!

At the end of the exercise every one is bloodied and beaten up.

Dr.Mario:Ok, so we haven't made any progress today, but come tomorrow anyway.

Yoshi:Why should we?

Dr.Mario:I'll shoot you with this machine gun.

Boswer:Ok, we'll come, but we won't like it.

End of chapter.

Doubldude:Don't forget to review and I'm off again.

Doubledude crashes into the wall again.

Doubledude:Conspiracy!


	3. Field trips

Doubledude: Hello, it's time for another chapter.

Some random person tries to shoot doubledude for not updating in do long, he answers to this by shooting the random guy with his gun.

Doubledude: Writers block! I didn't think anyone would miss this story anyway, and so I don't run into a wall again, this'll be filmed from outside.

Doubledude then walks into a tree which promptly falls on him.

Doubledude: Credit…for this…chapter goes to Mecha Scorpion…for giving me the…idea for…this chapter….DAMN ENVIROMENT!

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dr. Mario: Well in an attempt to save your soles I have decided we are going to go on a few field trips so you all can bond better, but before that say hello to two more guy's who are paying me to work this out, Marth and Mr. Game and Watch. (Now being referred to as G&W.)

Yoshi: Why are they here?

G&W: Well…

**FLASHBACK **

G&W is cutting paper for no reason, then Marth past him, going to get a glass of water, when suddenly G&W accidentally cuts off a strand of Marth's hair.

Marth: YOU FUKIN BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

And so, the prince chases the 2-D man wildly swinging his sword around, he then hit's something, but it wasn't the little 2-D manhe hit though.

Bowser: You little ingrate, I'm going to beat the bloody shit out of you, this'll teach you for hitting me with that swrod of your's.

And so, Bowser beats up Marth, not showing any signs of stoping while G&W just points and laughs while Marth scream's obscenities at him, and thus is the reason why G&W and Marth hate each other.In my stories anyway.

**END FLASHBACK**

Samus: We can't see your flashbacks.

G&W: Well too bad, I ain't gonna explain it.

Dr. Mario: First place were going to go to is the church.

Skip to the church.

Peter (from Family guy) is where the priest is supposed to be.

Altar boy: Hey, you're not supposed to be there, the priest is.

Peter: Well that's too bad because

Ah ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me.  
Can't Touch me.  
Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy,  
From Lethal Weapon 2,  
I've got diplomatic Immunity,  
So Hammer, you can't sue.  
I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets.  
I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat.

Can't touch me,  
Can't touch me.  
Can't touch me,  
STOP!

Peter time.  
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt  
Light a fire then pee it out.  
Don't like it, kiss my rump.  
Just for a minute, let's all do the bump. Can't touch me,  
Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump.  
Can't touch me.

I'm Presidential Peter,  
Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot! I've been around the world,  
From Hartford to Back Bay  
It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way.  
Can't touch me.

(That was funny when he sang that in Family guy, nad it doesn't take a genius to figure out that that song was copy and paste.)

Peter then moonwalks out the door.

Peter: Remember Michael Jackson, can't sue.

Michael Jackson: Aww dang.

Priest: Now that that's over with, let's start the mass, but dip some holy water on your heads.

Everyond does this fine, except one specific overweight and evil turtle…

Bowser: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!

In his blindness, Bowser accidentally punches Peach in the face, who ends up smacking Marth with her frying pan, who slashes Mario, who punches Falco, which causes a riot to break out between them.

Priest: Don't worry everyone, we've got a procedure in case things like this would happen, because I had a feeling this day would come.

Luigi: You knew this day would come?

The priest then pushes a button so that everyone who was fighting got shocked. Then the smashers had to leave.

Priest: Not all of you are going to hell, just the bird, the turtle, the princess, the prince and the fat guy.

Dr. Mario: Well that was a disaster, let's try the zoo, that's a nice peaceful place.

Except when a few people decide to mess with the animals.

Yoshi: Hey look at that really weird looking woodpecker.

And there is indeed a woodpecker who seems out of place…

Woody Woodpecker: Come on, why can't I hang out with you guys?

One of the woodpeckers makes a few bird sounds that translate to "Because you're annoying and we hate your laugh."

Woody Woodpecker: You mean (Insert trademark laugh here.) (Sorry, I don't know how to write it.)

The woodpecker makes a few more bird like noises that translate to "That's the one, now go away."

Woody Woodpecker: Aww dang.

Woody flies away.

After seeing a few animals and I won't bother explaining what happened because other than Bowser mistaking a giant tortoise as his long lost brother, nothing exiting happened, then they made their way to the lion cage.

Dr. Mario: Well wadda ya know? Part of the fence directly in front of us is destroyed, but you better not throw anyone down there.

As luck would have it, Bowser "accidentally" trips Mewtwo and he falls down there, forgetting the fact that he has psychic powers, pleads for them not attack him, but of course, they don't comply and attack him.

Dr. Mario: That wasn't very nice Bowser.

Bowser: So? What are you going to do about it?

Dr. Mario then grabs Bowser's tail, starts spinning him around, then let's go of the tail and Bowser flies in the lion cage, even though Bowser is stronger, he is deadly afraid of lions. Why, you might ask? Well how to say it…

Bowser: I'm getting a flashback for why I hate lions.

There we go.

**FLASHBACK**

Kamek: Well, I can't handle you, so, according to the movies I've seen, these lions should take you in as their own, bye Master Bowser.

Kamek then drops of Bowser, then flies away on his broom.

Lion: We didn't even have to go out this time.

Bowser: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The next scene is too gruesome to be shown.

**END FLASHBACK**

Mewtwo and Bowser: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Again the scene is to gruesome to be seen, but we can safely say that Bowser and Mewtwo made it away with major injuries.

Mewtwo and Bowser: We want to go.

Dr. Mario: Where are the others?

Mean while in the crocodile pit

Luigi: Great Mario's to fat to fit in the crocodile's mouth.

Yoshi: Falco wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for that darn fire move.

Bear cage

Samus: MUST RUN FASTER!

Samus is running from a bear, while Peach is hiding.

Samus: Hey, wait a minute, I can shoot it!

Samus then shoots the bear.

Peach: Darn, I was hoping that would've killed her.

Samus then shoots the rocks above Peach, making them fall on her.

When the group is back together.

Dr. Mario: We're almost done, just one exercise to go after this, see ya next time everybody.

Doubledude: Well se ya next time when I post the final chaoter, Bender nad Woody Woodpecker will help me run it.

Bender: I bet one million bucks that you won't get to chapter thrtee.

Doubledude: This WAS chapter three.

Bender: Well the robot mafia is going to kill me, thanks for nothing you excuse for a meat bag.

Woody: HOW does this help the smashers manage their anger?

Doubledude: It doesn't, it just makes for a funny story.

Woody: But this story isn't really funny.

Doubledude: Shut it, Woody! Read and review.

Woody: They'll read, but this story won't be good enough to get more reviews.

Doubledude: I said shut it, insane laugh!


	4. The anger is over

Doubledude: Hi, and welcome to the last chapter of Anger Management

Bender: Thank goodness for that.

Doubledude: Shouldn't you be getting killed by the mafia?

Bender: I signed someone else's name.

Woody: Who?

Bender: Some freak named Fawful.

Doubledude: Well anyway, I've been thinking.

Woody: Alert the media.

Doubledude: Shut up, anyway, I have been thinking of writing a sequel, if I get five reviews saying they want a sequel, and then there will be a sequel.

Woody: So say you don't want a sequel.

Doubledude: I've just noticed I haven't done a disclaimer, since I don't want to go to jail, here it is, I own nothing in this story.

Bender: Now let's get this fic over with.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dr. Mario: I've decided we're going to see how the other smashers will react to how good your progress has been. (I just hope they don't realise that this entire thing is a scam to get they're money.)

Yoshi: Progress? What progress?

(Just to clear things up, Yoshi can talk, I've seen him do it SM64.)

Dr. Mario: Hey, I just realised, where are G&W and Marth?

G&W and Marth come in, various cuts and bruises.

Falco: Do we want to know what happened?

Marth: We learned a very important lesson

G&W: Yeah, not to wrestle in the tiger den, because it ts one of the stupidest things you could do.

Dr. Mario: Come on everyone, to the doc mobile!

Luigi You mean you truck?

Dr. Mario:…Shut up.

Smash Mansion

Ness: Why did you bring those psychos?

Peach: Shut up Ness.

Ness: Why would I listen to you? You're a weakling?

Peach slaps Ness, but it's too weak to hurt, then she gets out her frying pan, but Ness dodges and smashes her with her bat.

Mario: Hey! You just hit my girlfriend!

Ness: What's your point, tubby?

Mario charges at Ness, but Ness trips Mario and knocks him out with his baseball bat.

Ness: I need to do a prank. It's been a while since the last one.

FLASBACK (I have a lot of these, don't I?)

Ness gives Nana a jack-in-the-box, Nana winds it up, and when she is done, an extendo-glove comes out, smashes her in the face, gives her a black eye and knocks her out.

END FLASBACK

Ness then walks away, and Young Link comes by.

Dr. Mario: Hey Young Link, don't you think these guys have made great progress.

Young Link catches Dr. Mario winking.

Young Link: (They must not have found out this thing was a scam.) Yeah, great progress (Idiots)

Roy: Hey Marth, my psychotic, psychopathic friend, how goes anger management?

Marth: Shut up, you're more insane then I am.

Roy: Then how come you're in anger management, and I'm not?

Marth: You sadistic, sarcastic bastard.

Bowser: I'm going to do some stretches.

While doing stretches, Bowser accidentally punches Zelda in the face, knocking her out.

Here's what the others said.

Popo: Three classes and your sone already, no wonder it isn't working.

Nana is still unconscious.

Ganondorf: While this isn't working, it's still fun watching you guys suffer.

Fox: Huh? Oh yeah your going great, whatever.

Zelda is still knocked out.

Link: Sorry, I haven't been paying much attention to this story.

(Who told you this was a story!)

Pichu- Sorry I don't have a translator.

Pikachu- Still don't have one.

Jigglypuff- Quit bugging me about the freaking translator.

DK: Me no care, me want bananas.

(And I want you to talk properly, but were going to have to make due.)

Kirby- Is to busy eating.

Dr. Mario: I have a feeling they've all learned form this.

10 minutes later.

Yoshi is chasing Falco wielding a chainsaw, Samus is beating up Peach, Luigi just stuck Mario in a cannon and G&W has a shotgun at Marth's head.

Dr. Mario: So much for that feeling, where's Bowser, Mewtwo?

Mewtwo: he's at a concert…

At a wiggles concert.

Bowser: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS MEWTWO, I SWEAR IT!

THE END

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Doubledude: And that Anger Management, this turned out pretty good for something that I made out of boredom and was supposed to be one shot.

Woody: Bye everyone!

Bender: Thanks for coming!

Doubledude: Thanks for reviewing, remember, say if you want a sequel, check out some fics I'll be writing soon, see ya.!


End file.
